Oh, Sweet Mercy, Make It Stop: Ten Irritating Songs

We’ve all heard of “worst songs” lists, but what about most irritating songs? The songs aren’t necessarily bad per say, but they will often make your hair stand on end, your skin crawl, and aliens’ heads pop (shout out to the movie Mars Attacks). Here are some songs that I think classify as irritating.

1. “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison
I think that it’s the pauses and the cheesy talking that makes this song irritating. Or it could be the drums. I won’t deny its iconic bass line, though.

2. “Jive Talkin’” by the Bee Gees
I respect the Bee Gees for their musical prowess, songwriting talents, and for what their family has been through. But this song . . . just no.

3. “This is the Song that Never Ends” by Lamb Chop
Lamb Chop and Sherry Lewis will always have special places in my childhood and heart. However, the song doesn’t end. Literally, it never ends.

4. “Believe” by Cher
Maybe it’s the never-ending bashing of the cymbals, maybe it’s all of the music effects that are layered on top of one another, maybe it’s Cher’s voice, or maybe it’s several radio stations playing this song multiple times each day for not months, but years. Who can really say? Nevertheless, this song simply makes my hair stand on end.

5. “Umbrella” by Rihanna
So. Much. Processing.

6. “Milkshake” by Kelis
For some reason the bass line in the background sounds discordant to me. Perhaps it’s because of the weird processing that they did to it. Also, I will never forgive her for making a milkshake into a dirty innuendo. What food will be music’s next victim? We’ve already lost Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, and cookies. Will cupcakes be next?

7. “Barbie Girl” by Aqua
I’ll take the sound of nails on a chalkboard instead, please.

8. “Country Girl (Shake It for Me)” by Luke Bryan
Wow, it took a lot of brain power to write those lyrics, didn’t it? Look, I don’t want to hear forty-one (yep, I counted) times how you want a country girl to shake her butt for you. Do you know what comes out of a butt? Now, do you really want that shaking in your face? Didn’t think so.

9. “The Thunder Rolls” by Garth Brooks
I know that it’s supposed to be a semi-iconic country song, but it’s just irksome to me. Why does the song have to be that slow? Also, although I’m a country music fan, I’m just not a Garth Brooks fan, which I understand is sacrilegious to some country music aficionados.

10. Anything by The Rolling Stones
This may be the most controversial thing that I’ve put on my blog to date. I’m not saying that they’re not iconic. I’m not saying that Keith Richards isn’t a fabulous guitar player. I’m just saying that their music (particularly Mick Jagger’s voice) is like taking a cheese grater to my eardrums.

What songs drive you up a wall?