In My Midnight Confessions

This is a post idea that I took (with her permission) from BlissfulBrit. You can check out her post, “Early Morning Confessions” here: http://blissfulbritt.com/2014/10/24/early-morning-confessions-25/. But I don’t really do mornings, and if I do do mornings, it’s only because I’m fishing. Therefore, since I’m more of a hoot-owl than a morning dove, this post is called “midnight confessions.” Also, who doesn’t like the song, “Midnight Confessions?”

1. I like to take my sandwiches apart to eat them. I’ve heard that this is like a character from Calvin and Hobbes.

2. I’ve never read the Calvin and Hobbes comics.

3. I put up my Christmas tree the first or second week of November and take it down sometime after Valentine’s Day. This is how it should be.

4. I seem to get the flu or a cold around Valentine’s Day at least every other year. The holiday hates me.

5. I was on the bowling team in high school, and I am not ashamed.

6. I used to play Neopets. A lot. I was one of the best at Key Quest, I had a baby gelert, and I was the owner of an extensive bakery gallery. For those of you who know what all of this is, be jealous. But I gave it up because it was eating up so much of my time. I’ve been Neopets clean for three years.

7. If I wasn’t going to be a teacher and a writer, I’d be a baker. In fact, my friend and I have discussed opening a joint bakery and law office. She’ll help people finalize their divorces, and I’ll sell them the cupcakes and donuts in which to drown their sorrows.

8. I believe that bacon is not meat. It is angel droppings.

9. I don’t understand people picking out their own chickens or pigs to kill for a meal. If you raise them, that’s one thing, and kind of a whole different set of issues. But many farm-to-table restaurants offer an option of promenading around the farm, popping by the pig pens, picking out which one of the animals you want to be slaughtered for your dinner that night, and then perusing the rest of the facility while Porky’s neck gets sliced open. I understand wanting to know where your food comes from, but I don’t think that I could point to an animal and condemn it to death like Henry VIII with his wives. I don’t want to know where my meat comes from. It needs to be faceless for me to eat it. Such a sentiment is not in vogue, but it’s the truth. As far as I’m concerned, beef tenderloins grow on trees, chicken filets sprout from bushes, and, like I said above, bacon is angel droppings.

10. I would dress my dog up in cute outfits every day if she would let me. She does not let me.

11. I only practice catch-and-release fishing.

12. One of my favorite snacks is to take a hard-boiled egg white and soak it in soy sauce for about ten minutes. Mmm, yum, yum. Don’t knock until you try it.